I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Im just a social blackout drinker.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
