No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
