glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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