I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
