dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize