I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
