I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
