id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
