I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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