just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize