I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
