forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
