I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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