i just google imaged poop.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sext me about skeletons
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
