i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
