In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
