There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
