I am puke
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
