Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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