im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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