based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
