This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
