I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
