That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am spending my child support on dildos
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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