you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
