Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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