My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize