Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
