she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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