I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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