I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
