We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
