They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
