***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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