I don't think brook has ever known best
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
