Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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