Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize