It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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