Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When did angry sex become our thing?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
