i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
