he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
