it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
