oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
