No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
