have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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