She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They took my balls.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
