whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
