this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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