she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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