I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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