so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
