At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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