Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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