He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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