Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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