Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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