yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
