Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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