Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
people are starting to question the shark bite story
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
