I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You are the jesus of drinking
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
