there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
