Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
