how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
