are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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