i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can you bring me the toilet please
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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