Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
